It
can be quite a test when we are confronted by the darker,
more painful dimensions of those circumstances set in motion
through our choices and actions. In the presence of such unpleasant
conditions, we ordinarily tighten up, shrink, rigidify, withdraw,
go numb, or otherwise diminish ourselves, ricocheting between
defensiveness and submission, as though there’s nothing
else we can do.
Just as we tend to inflate ourselves through association
with pleasant circumstances, we also tend to deflate ourselves
through association with nastier circumstances, assuming
the role of victim, through which our capacity for responsibility
is abandoned for the shrinkwrapped righteousness of self-blaming
or other-blaming. Thus do we pollute ourselves with blame’s
developmentally arrested morality and its supporting cast,
in the melodramatics and ethical sewage of which guilt and
vengefulness take turns masquerading as conscience.
Trying to make sure that we are safe from the unpleasant
-- as exemplified by insuring ourselves to death -- only
guarantees our keeping it and its worrisome ramifications
in mind, where it contextually festers and reproduces with
itself until it is literally fleshed-out, translated from
the hotbed of its mental blueprinting into all-too-solid
reality.
Awakening exposes -- once our honeymoon with spirituality
is over -- what is not working in our lives, revealing key
changes we need to make or at least open ourselves to making,
but if we persist in obstructing, sabotaging, or faking
such changes, we will very soon be realigned with our snore,
dreaming that we are really living.
The good news is that as lost as we may be in our dreamland
wanderings, oppositional forces inevitably will get in the
face of the part of the dream that assumes it is us.
Opposition is inevitable and necessary, exposing flabbiness
of spirit and every kind of complacency and mediocrity,
generating situations that invite us, incite and enliven
and challenge us, to Wake up, to hone and ground our alertness,
to test and retest our ability to not be sucked in by our
reactivity and mechanicalness.
As we begin to shed our blinders --or allow an increasing
transparency -- and to make the changes that we know we
must make, all kinds of obstacles arise. Doubts may multiply,
dread may colonize us, resistance may flatten or blitz us,
family and friends may turn away from us. We may then understandably
want to turn back, to exit the chrysalis in reverse, to
numb and dumb ourselves down. Thus do the old ways pull
at us. Familiarity is so seductive.
If we don’t deal well with our difficulties, we may
take up residence in disembodied rationality or metaphysical
escapism, finding therein a consoling numbness. Or, more
commonly, we may settle into a denser state of being, not
leveling out until we have found a degree of opposition
-- or contractive force -- that we can generally make good
use of, rather than merely tolerate.
We don’t get to move on until we are truly ready
to do so, and that decisive shift arises not just from our
mind and feeling self, but from our core of being, including
within itself -- and this cannot be overemphasized -- the
essential energies of whatever in us opposes it.
Before we can embody a deeper life, we must be able, more
often than not, to remain grounded -- that is, centered
not by egoity, but by Being -- not only in the presence
of discomfort, unpleasantness, and opposition, but also
in the presence of our reactivity and aversion to such challenges.
This involves a skillful befriending and acceptance of insecurity,
providing sufficient safety to let go of playing it so safe.
Being nonreactive requires the readily-activated ability
and willingness to see and feel whatever opposes us as more
than just something oppositional. This means ceasing to
submit to -- or feed with attention -- our violent intentions
and thoughts regarding our opposition.
Our work is to take care of our opposition. This asks that
we stretch and expand and open, permitting ourselves vulnerability,
a vulnerability that is a source of strength, especially
the kind of strength that is utterly unthreatened by dependency.
Opposition is neither to be ignored nor bewailed. The point
is to sensitize ourselves to our adversaries, without shrinking
or thinking ourselves into their operational strata, so
that we are neither stuck in recoil nor bound up in submission.
Our work is to enter into empathy -- however indirect its
expression might be, or might have to be -- with them, without
necessarily locking horns and minds with them, until we
can genuinely wish them well. Loving -- not necessarily
liking, but loving -- our apparent enemies is a kind of
radical sanity, for in loving them, we are not only ceasing
to demonize them, but are also aligning ourselves with their
healing. And their healing is none other than our healing.
So, yes, open to loving your enemies, but don’t grovel
or grow spineless in such love. Instead, stand tall in it,
like great oaks asway in the push and slap of a violent
storm, and stand soft as well, like grasses bending and
bowing in the same stormwinds, losing none of their dignity
in their prayer. Stand not like those who act as if they
deserve the whip or insult, but like those who are alerted
and further awakened -- and are thus healthily appreciative
of -- the whip or insult, for only in so doing will you
genuinely be able to love your enemies.
Our need is to know our opposition -- both inner and outer
-- intimately, so that we might know ourselves. To stand
in the midst of malignant contractedness or gross misunderstanding
without abandoning or betraying ourselves is an art to be
practiced with great patience and care. This goes far beyond
facile notions of forgiveness, and far beyond merely trying
to persuade ourselves that we are indeed transforming the
negativity in our lives, for not only are softness, pliability,
and receptivity essential, but also forcefulness, thrust,
and bedrock-firm stands.
Having access to such qualities or responses is not so
much a methodology as an ever-fresh art, through which we
can touch the all without losing touch with the particular,
finding a deepening intimacy with both favorable and unfavorable
conditions, doing so not to reach What-Really-Matters, but
rather to express and live It.
In taking care of our opposition, we take care
of ourselves.