In
our greed for the roses we are already wedded to the thorns.
In our greed to end or transcend greed, we don’t
recognize that in the very pulse of its desperation coils
the pure and primal heart of our real need.
Excessive appetite is best approached not with the tyranny
of repressive regimes, dietary and otherwise, nor with the
permissiveness of myopic tolerance, but rather with a compassion
capable of diving so deep into the dark of greed that it
finds therein the pearl of bare need.
Shrinking from the thorns, burying them in numb flesh, or
storing them in cognitive waste dumps not only strands us
from their teachings, their messages, their pointers, but
also exaggerates our craving for the roses. Trying to bypass
pain simply tightens greed’s grasp on us, partially
because we’re then not sufficiently present to truly
face our greed.
Greed is all about having to have something so strongly
that it has us, owns us, runs us. The repulsion that greed
ultimately feels toward its object -- and itself too --
as it enters satiation often gets defused through the activation
of guilt, wherein self-indulgence and self-castigation coexist
in a stalemate that permits the “transgression”
to continue. One hand grabs the goodies, while the other
wields a parental whip. No discipline -- just a knee-jerk
punishment ensuring that guilt will continue. Greed has
no conscience, other than guilt.
There’s something grubby about greed, something dirty,
swollen, redly suctorial. Orality in extremis. Just as fear
has a certain smell, so does greed. Sweaty and dense. Greed
stinks -- and how could it not, when it is so full of shit?
Of course, greed can also get all dressed up, including
in spiritual robes, and it can also greedily gargle greed-disguising
products, so that it appears respectable -- a little driven
perhaps, but what’s so wrong with wanting to get ahead?
When an entire culture makes a virtue out of greed, it’s
easy to confuse greed with need. We may talk, in a pseudo-spiritual
context, of “having it all” -- without noticing
that we are then simply sacralizing our greed.
Still, there is a pressure to get rid of the more unattractive
manifestations of greed, like addictiveness, and this drive
toward “cleanliness” -- polluted with puritanical,
just-say-no zeal -- rubs us the wrong way, inflaming our
rebelliousness, healthy and otherwise, thereby just creating
more garbage, more filth, more addiction, more desperation,
more neurotic compartmentalization, and, of course, more
guilt. Garbage -- there’s such an accelerating abundance
of it, an outcast piecemeal archipelago munching away at
the fringes of suburbia and our manufactured sanity, piling
up and up, spilling out of our dreams -- toilet bowls overflowing,
sewers surfacing, plumbing malfunctioning -- and poisoning
our streams, squatting with increasing immensity in our
headquarters, towering over the latest remedies for the
mess we have made and are making. From tool-maker to garbage-maker
-- an epitaph already half-downloaded.
We waste that to which we won’t cease clinging, if
only by squeezing and sucking the vitality out of it. In
our compulsion to hang on to and own what we love, we destroy
it, crushing it in our well-meaning grip until it’s
just more garbage, however nostalgically or romantically
framed. It is easy to get caught up in rearranging and redecorating
our junkyard, diligently deodorizing or ignoring the mounting
rot, instead of digging out its diamonds and letting the
entire load of it be fertilizer for the roses, both outer
and inner. Truly an unshitty thing to do with shit. And
is not much of contemporary culture little more than compost
waiting to be discovered, running from its worms?
Have what you have lightly, or else it will likely have
you, and not so lightly. At the same time, however, don’t
make a problem out of attachment -- getting attached to
being nonattached is the dirty underwear of spiritual finery.
Excessive distance from our appetites maroons us from their
teachings. The prudish are not able to illuminate the must
in lust because of their fear of getting in that close --
the thorns just might prick them!
We may pride ourselves on not being prudish, but are not
just about all of us spiritual prudes, shying away from
our innate lust for the Divine, our hard-wired hunger for
the Holy, our greed for the Supremely Edible?
There is nothing necessarily polite or neatly ordered about
ecstasy, love of Life, or real spirituality; there is nothing
necessarily sexless or passionless about awakening from
our psychospiritual slumber. Awakening thus is the greatest
and the most consuming of passions, the most succulently
engaging and nakedly alive -- and nourishingly difficult
-- of passions, finding its optimal flowering in the unabashed
presence of attachment, need, and intimacy. Full-blooded
Awaring.
So dive in, for God’s Sake. Through doing so you
will soon enough know what to keep and what to release.
The less the luggage, the easier the travelling. But easier
said than done. We cannot truly let go of something unless
we have already had it, really had it -- or been intimate
with it -- in the first place. And to get thus intimate,
we have to dive in, get involved, get messy, get attached,
hooked, greedy, and all the rest of it -- otherwise, we
won’t develop the needed ripeness for letting go.
In short, we have to flesh it out before it can give up
the ghost. Homesteading on the Edge.
Our task is not to create our destiny, but rather to live
in a manner that reveals it.
So dive in before paralysis again seizes the reins -- better
to have jumped in and gotten hurt than to have withered
all safe and bleached and brittle in logjams of shore-hugging
prevarication. We have a date with greed, both our own and
our collective greed, and it’s a date we’d do
better to deliberately show up for than to skip or cancel.
However repulsive our greed is to us, it is there to be
known, and we cannot fully do so from a distance. Instead
of recoiling from its touch, take it by the hand and introduce
it to a different land, where Being is more central than
having.
The estrangement from Being that characterizes contemporary
culture breeds greed, its wannahaves and gottahaves giving
consumption a bad name. Even the most pleasing satiation
is not enough, being haunted by a craving for -- and a subterranean
doubting of -- its repetition; even the most sophisticated
technical advances retreat before the loneliness moaning
in the wake of their latest upgrades; even religious rituals
do little more than spoon out some release from the very
distress they have helped create through, among other things,
reducing God to a superparental pinup. With such an abundance
of dissatisfaction, is it any wonder that we are so hungry,
so greedy, so fixated on “more” as our core
mantra?
The good news is that dissatisfaction can catalyze a hunger
for more than more -- a hunger to discover the root of suffering
and the root of true satisfaction. A quality quest. Dissatisfaction,
however, far more commonly inspires not Awakening, but only
a craving to be successfully distracted from our suffering,
preferably as pleasurably as possible. So long as we adopt
a problematic orientation to dissatisfaction, we remain
seducible by whatever best reassures and entertains us --
and such entertainment includes the “horror”
stories of the news, the threatening implications of which
necessitate even greater doses of cultural and personal
anesthesia.
The tremendous chaos of our era, with its crazily accelerating
changes, avalanching stress, and time-obsessed social mycelia,
provides extremely fecund conditions for cutting through
the infectious case of mistaken identity of which dissatisfaction
-- the mother of greed -- is an inevitable byproduct. This
may be the Kali Yuga -- the age of darkness -- but it also
is a time of unparalleled opportunity. It’s all here
all at once, not just metaphysically or archetypically,
but literally -- different traditions, different times and
styles, almost all uprooted and thrown together in a dreamlike
bazaar, a global supermarket between the vast walls of which
ricochets the feeding frenzy of runaway consumerism, glazed
with hope and sticky with greed, swinging between dilettantism
and obsession. It’s as if the whole planet is now
just one gigantic garage sale, inviting us to shop until
we drop, beneath the plastic skies of good buys.
But instead of complaining about all the insanity -- and
such complaining is itself just more insanity -- or glossing
it over with “new paradigm” babblings, we can
use it and its fertile chaos, its hybrid vitality, its bewildering
turbulence, its underground hunger, to help real sanity
take firm root. This means going without pacifiers and alibis,
taking a stand in which crisis is not bombed, defoliated,
drugged, or jailed, but rather is taken as a gift.
We won’t get any real satisfaction until we befriend
our dissatisfaction.
How can we be fulfilled -- filled full -- when we are already
stuffed, crammed, filled up with what we take to be ourselves?
Thank God for the thorns, as they prick the bubble of our
gotta-have-it identity and its resident greed, leaving us
sufficiently spacious to truly appreciate the roses.