We
are, as always, positioned to be Awakened by all things. The
degree to which we recognize this is the degree to which we
recognize that everything must be thus viewed and used. Everything,
everyone, everywhere, everywhen. Otherwise, our relationship
to -- and appreciation of -- Life remains partial, superficial,
anemic, insufficiently intimate.
To be Awakened by all things is to be intimate with all
things, including our resistance to such radical intimacy.
The key is in our hands but out of our grasp.
Our habits infiltrate, occupy, and surround us like monstrous
children, overfed appetites and spoilt automaticities squatting
upon the throne of self. But they’re just kids. Your
kids, my kids, our kids. We let them keep us busy keeping
up appearances.
Everything is all we’ve got, so we might as well
stop expecting something else to do it for us. We need to
stop making ourselves the pawn of salvation games. What’s
needed is not a new script, a better role, but undreaming
eyes.
It’s all about attention. Attention usually is allowed
to fasten to apparent objects, inner and outer. Something
we see, hear, want, think about. Things to attend to, to
get fasten-ated with. This may be deliberate, but much of
the time it isn’t. Observe how easily attention gets
hooked to plans, judgments, fantasies, inner gossip, and
other mental formations even when we desire otherwise. Attention
as such -- inattentive attention -- makes its objects seem
more real than they actually are. But attention can also
be withdrawn, to varying degrees, from its objects. It can
even be completely withdrawn, its sole focus being the very
awareness of which it is but the focussing function.
The trick is, at least some of the time, to keep attention
in-between its objects and its Source. In so doing, Being
becomes primary, and perception secondary. It’s all
about attention. When Being pays attention, it feels very
different than when the usual us pays attention.
This is not about imposing a discipline on ourselves, but
rather about yielding to a discipline that emerges from
Being. Along the way we have to traverse the warring territories
occupied by the various “I’s” that literally
make us up. The ultimate dream journey. All that we meet,
however alien, is us. Habits galore, addictions, longings,
people and qualities and behavior that catalyze every kind
of emotion and reaction in us. So much hurt, grief, anger,
shame, numbness, and also so much joy and love, arising
in the very same zones.
Let the painful assist you. Get intimate with what hurts
and bugs you. Date your loneliness, cuddle your grief, dance
with your anger, cradle your shame. Stop making such a virtue
out of comfort. Stop expecting spiritual practice to make
you feel better. Get intimate with discomfort, without becoming
an ascetic or devotee of diseased renunciation. No flagellation
is needed. There’s no overseer screaming at the sperm
to swim upstream. They don’t know where they’re
going, but they’re going there anyway, running all
the red lights in an eggistential ecstasy.
Everything can serve your Awakening, including the doubt
or distractions with which you may now be flirting.
The perspective of Being offers a view unpolluted by any
“I”. Let it possess you. Let It mess and undress
you, and look through your eyes. Such a takeover will so
fully empty you of yourself that you’ll be more you
than ever before. Then you’ll recognize yourself to
be not just an “I” -- or coalition of “I’s”
-- but also Being, at once unbound and individuated. The
perspective of Being does not stamp out differences, but
rather clarifies them, even as it simultaneously renders
them transparent to What-Really-Matters.
Being -- the language of which is Truth -- has no position.
So long as we insist on maintaining a position, including
that of having no position or of being “nobody”,
we will not significantly recognize Being.
Let your understanding of this be like a ripe fig still
sun-warm and juicy and purple-plump, softly split open upon
your appreciative palm, awaiting your lips and tongue and
rising desire. This is not an understanding of the mind,
but of the heart’s depth, streaming through the body
with a welcome too real to have meaning. So simple this
is, lover-simple. It’s the everfresh sublime Simplicity
of the naked Real, effortlessly revealed through every shaping
of Itself, every modification, every body.
If we look down upon the crippled or terminally solid in
our flight, we will become unwinged, so that we might become
more intimate with others’ crutches and the dark side
of our ascent.
Recognize -- and remember to recognize -- the Real in all
that you see, hear, taste, smell, feel, and think, without
reducing it to an undifferentiated cosmic pablum.
What we seek is forever unconcealed, hidden only by our
insistence on devising or having maps for it, paths, beliefs,
rituals, spiritual ladders, as if It were actually out of
reach. As always, what we seek is already here, inside our
looking and outside every exterior, at once nowhere and
everywhere, camouflaged by the apparitions of perception
and self-deception.
Allow perception to become functionally secondary to Being.
The dragons guarding the Treasure ask not to slaughtered,
but to recognized. Through the gates we must go, leaving
name and fame behind, passing through dark labyrinths, unravelled
by the Minotaur’s bleeding howl of recognition.
Do not pretend that you don’t recognize that which
would wean you from your delusions, so that you might cease
suckling the breasts of the familiar. Do not pretend that
you do not know the Stranger at the Gate, your lover’s
face in one hand, yours in the other, erased, ready again.
And do not pretend that you are not pretending.
Homeward bound are they who, already brokenhearted, do
not go to pieces, for in their woundedness, their lucid
vulnerability, the Real obviously pulses. Homeward bound
are they who, wronged or hurt, choose not to invest in righteousness
or revenge, for in their openness, their willingness to
fully forgive, they obviously resonate with the Real. Homeward
bound are they who, ripened beyond conceit, are not trying
to be anywhere other than where they are, for they not only
are standing their true ground, but are it.
We don’t even need to know what to do. It’s
more than enough to know what not to do, just so long as
we don’t make it into a program. The unmappable does
not need cartography. Don’t take this essay as instruction,
regardless of my instructions. May my words, now staggering
on fast fading legs, be of benefit to you. May everything
serve your awakening.
Everything.